Honesty from the heart of a struggling mom... 1 year later.

I was looking back over some of my old blog post from last year and this one Honesty from the heart of a struggling mom caught my eye. My how things can change in a year. I've gone from an overwhelmed, emotionally pregnant, mom of 4 to an overwhelmed, but loving every minute of it, mom of 5.

Here's what I have realized...

EVERY stage of life can be overwhelming. 

You expect to go from one overwhelming stage to another non-overwhelming stage; but life with young kids just doesn't work that way. The next stage may be less overwhelming than the previous one but there will be a day(or 2, or 100) that you feel like you are in over your head. Especially if you are the mom of a lot of young children. Your outnumbered and everyone has needs!

Trust me mama when I say you are not alone. 

I've come to realized that it isn't wrong, or weak, or embarrassing for me as a mother to be overwhelmed. I am not Superwoman. I can only push myself for so long before I can't handle any more, and many of us are guilty of pushing ourselves for far too long. We are human, we are not perfect, we need rest(emotionally and physically).

Instead, it is how we react to being overwhelmed that determines whether it is going to be to our good or to the detriment of our family. 

I can be completely overwhelmed and still be a reasonable, kind, encouraging person, but so often when we find ourselves overwhelmed we find ourselves short and snappy with our children and our husbands. It's our way of screaming...

CANT YOU SEE I'M DROWNING HERE? HELP ME, PLEASE!!!

We have become so good as wives and mothers at anticipating the needs of others that I think we expect people to read our minds and know when we have had enough. It's easy to react with self-pity, fear, and unkind spirits and that my friend is exactly what Satan wants from us. You know that he can use the biggest blessings in our life to overwhelm us and steal our joy? We become concerned with having the perfect marriage, the most well-behaved children, the most successful ministry, and the most beautiful home that we loose sight of the blessing these things are meant to be and allow them to become burdens for us to carry. 

It seems to come in seasons for me. There are seasons that everything is going well, I have enough energy to keep up with everyone and meet all their needs. The house is fairly clean. Our marriage is blissful and ministry is enjoyable. I put it on cruise control, I'm not as diligent to tend to the needs of my house, my spouse and my children and then the wave of chaos comes rolling in. I have found that it is mostly my fault when chaos ensues and I get overwhelmed(not always, but usually). Then I allow Satan to creep in and sow the seed of self pity and insecurity. You know those days when you feel like... Why can't anyone see I am struggling, or can they see but they just don't care? Am I just not good enough at what I have been called to do to do it correctly and not get so overwhelmed? If I was a good mother... If I was a good wife... It goes on and on. 

God has given us promises about all of these things, the answers to all questions, the life raft coming to our rescue. When we are properly focused on him we can keep Satan's antics at arms length and remain planted in his grace. 

Many times when I am feeling overwhelmed I feel the need to mask it with a smile(at least while around other) and just give up at home. I don't want anyone to know that I am overwhelmed and I don't want to ask for help(that's my pride) because that might just give someone a platform to say hurtful things about the size of my family, or the things we have chosen as important in our lives(ministry, christian education, etc...) and all my joy is robbed away. 

Let's choose as mom's to become better at asking for help and being honest about our limits. Our husbands and children can't read our minds and many times when they find out how overwhelmed we are(usually after a mommy meltdown) they are more than willing to shoulder some of the load. It's ok to struggle but in those moments of struggle choose to be overwhelmed and overjoyed. Don't let self pity drag you down into a mommy rut. 

Get back on schedule, be more diligent, talk to God more throughout your day about the wonderful blessings he has given you and the struggles that come along with those blessings. 

This past year has not been an easy year. Having a baby, family adjusting to the change, lots of hard work in ministry, outside family struggles, financial hardships, and even as I type we are awaiting an MRI for Micah to determine if he has the same brain malformation that Carson had and whether he will require brain surgery to correct it. I am no less overwhelmed today than I was a year ago, but I am choosing joy in those moments instead of self pity. 

I'm overwhelmed, but overjoyed!!

At some point I will make it into a less overwhelming stage of life,and recharge to face the next overwhelming stage. Yet in each stage I am overwhelmed by his grace, because his grace is made perfect in my weakness.