God's timing is sometimes suprising

Some of you may have heard our recent announcement that we have decided to home school our kids next year! Yes, I'm so excited, but it would be a small white lie if I said that the journey towards this joyous moment was easy.

12+ years ago, when Kevin and I got married, we were head over heals in love. We knew that we were complete opposites, came from very different backgrounds, and did not see eye to eye on everything, but LOVE covers a multitude of things, right?!?

When we started having children, rapidly, it was apparent that our parenting styles, and examples of what parenting looks like, were slightly(please catch the sarcasm here) different. There were a lot of things that we did not agree on. I thought I knew it all, or at least acted like I did. Kevin really had never been around kids so he was just going by what he had seen modeled his whole life, which couldn't have been any different than what I had grown up with. Let's just say that there was a small- ok, ENORMOUS- learning curve for both of us.

I always had this dream of being barefoot and pregnant for eternity, living in the country, line drying clothes, cooking home cooked meals, and homeschooling our slew of kids all at the same time. Kevin's dream looked much different.

Kevin's exposure to home schooling was socially awkward children, or children who were "homeschooled" but really weren't :( He was adamantly opposed to the idea, despite the fact that I, his wife, was a completely normal, accomplished, intelligent,  home school graduate.

Our kids were young and I was sure I could sway him in the next few years so I just began praying that God would change his heart on the matter.

When our kids became school aged, we lived in a very small community, with good schools and we made the decision to send them to public school. Our oldest had a very hard time adjusting(which we now know is because of general anxiety disorder- specifically school related anxiety) and our second oldest never skipped a beat. It was a wonderful year that softened my view of sending our kids to school.

After a year and a half, and a move out of state(to a VERY liberal city) we still did not see eye to eye on this issue. Kevin wanted to put them in public school and the thought literally made me sick. I was still praying DAILY that God would change the circumstances and he just kept saying "No".

After a year in our current school system it was OBVIOUS that another decision needed to be made. I started looking into christian schools in our area, knowing good and well that we could not afford them, but I wanted to prove that to Kevin(and God laughed).

I was on bedrest, pregnant with our 5th(surprise) blessing. God knew I was in no position to home school 3 kids, have a toddler, and be on bedrest. He opened so many amazing doors, got us grants and scholarships, and our kids were approved to attend Lighthouse Christian Academy. God literally knew exactly what we needed at that time. It was the best 3 year experience ever.

I decided "Ok God, I hear you, load and clear. Homeschooling is not in the cards for us."

Strangely, the person in me who had always wanted to be a mommy was kind of lost in mommy land. I didn't really know who I was or what drove me anymore. God used a ladies conference, which I was the speaker for, to prompt me to go back to school to get my teaching degree. I literally had no confidence in my ability  to do this but I took the leap. I dove in, head long, perfectionist personality and all, and I have loved every minute of it- minus the semester I took math!  My world was rocked by some other things that God decided I needed to deal with this year and WOW what a journey(but that's another post).

It felt like after all of that our feet were just getting underneath of us. I have 1 year of classes left, the church bought property and is in the beginning stages of building, family life is clam, and everyone is happy. I was pursuing a license for in home child care and expanding my business, juggling it all.

AND THEN...

Kevin comes to me in January and drops the bombshell. He thinks we need to make a change in the kids education, and we all know how he feels about homeschooling so we know it has to be a total God thing. I laughed, not out load, but in my mind. "Ok, now, at the most inconvenient time possible, you want to home school."

I was completely happy where the kids were, I don't like change, and yes, I know this is what I have been begging for for the last 6 years but I got over it. My plans changed, I was seeing visions of kids in school and me teaching.

So, we prayed, and prayed, and talked, and talked. We took a 10 day trip for business and spent the whole time wrestling with this. We ultimately came to the same conclusion by the end of the trip, that we were clearly hearing from God that this was the way to go, and for one of our children, it meant, effective immediately(remember that school induced anxiety).

Don't get me wrong, I was thrilled, but confused. Why has God told me no, wait, and think again for the last 6 years to answer my prayer at literally the MOST inconvenient time for ME? Why did he lead me to go back to school if the ultimate goal was not to get a degree and a job?

Over the next few month God began to cement our decision through many circumstances. I am so glad that we made our decision public before some things began to crumble or people would have thought it was all reactionary. Now it's obvious it was a God thing.

I still have no idea why God's answer was WAIT for so long, or why it is YES right now, but I know he has a plan(Jer 29:11) and while we make our plans, he secures our steps(Proverbs 16:9) so I'm just going to trust that he's got it and rejoice that I am FINALLY getting what I always wanted!!

Things are always better in God's timing!