I’ve always been a little jealous of the Proverbs 31
woman. She set such a high bar of expectations that it seems impossible to
measure up. That is what we do right? Spend our whole lives trying to measure
up, fearing that we won’t be good enough, we will never be accepted, and become
so paralyzed by fear that we sit idle and watch life pass us by missing
opportunity after opportunity. I’ve spent the last year trying to figure out
why we let fear control us? Is it a lack of confidence? Is it an abundance of
pride? Fear of failure is an immobilizer in my own life. It keeps me from going
back to school to pursue a teaching career because I’m too old, from cooking
meals for my family because I am a horrible cook, from being the best mother I
can be because I can never accomplish all that needs to be done. Yet I read
about this woman and the one verse that stands out to me is vs 25.
Strength
and dignity are her clothing. She laughs without fear of the future.
I’ve
always read that vs and thought “man I wish I could have that kind of
confidence”.
Many Christians
struggle with the thought of Confidence. They seem to be confused between Godly
Confidence and pride. Even Self-confidence as defined above is healthy when we ultimately
find our confidence in the realization of all that Christ is and all that we
are not.
Confidence is… Quiet
Pride is… Loud
Confidence is…Willing to learn
Pride…knows it all already
Confidence is… selfless
Pride is… selfish
Confidence…knows it weakness
Pride… thinks it has none
When confidence turns
to pride, we stop learning. Healthy confidence knows it’s strength and
abilities but is willing to ask for help and knows it’s weaknesses.
Scripture encourages
Godly confidence…
Jeremiah 17:7
Blessed
is the woman who trusts is in the Lord, and has made the Lord her hope and
confidence. For she is like a tree planted by the water, whose root are deep,
she does not fear the heat, and continues to produce fruit even in the time of
drought.
Comparison is the enemy of confidence
DO NOT compare your outtakes to someone else’s highlight reel.
Social media has created a monster. Here we are
looking through our news feed and we see the mom at our church who has her 2 toddlers
perfectly dressed and both smiling so sweetly for a candid photo with their
arms around each other like they just love each other to pieces. Meanwhile we
just tried to get one decent picture with all of our kids in it which resulted
in hair being pulled, fingers being stepped on, the baby is screaming his face
off, the oldest is wrestling the screaming baby and keeping that smile glued on
her face because she’s finally reached the age that she knows to look at the
camera and smile no matter what, the boys are in a fist fight, and the 3 year
old has her finger up her nose. Instagram doesn’t have a filter for that!! Our
old highschool friend is tweeting about her extravagant vacation while the
closest thing I’ve had to a vaca in the past month was a 10 minute shower at
the YMCA because I actually get more privacy in the communal shower than I do
at home!! But here is what we fail to remember… it probably took 10 retakes, an
outfit change, and some major bribery for a trip to Jumping Joeys for that
perfect picture and our friend didn’t tweet about the long nights spent at the
office working overtime, the massive amount of debt they may have accumulated
to get that vacation, and the fact that they will be working late nights for
months to pay it off. We can’t edit real life the way we edit our FB page and
no one’s life is what it appears to be from the outside.
Some of us are
better than others at playing the masquerade game when we are slowly dying
inside. God created us to come together and support one another. How are we
supposed to be a support system when every time we come together we all act
like we have it together and leave the same hurting, heart-broken, falling
apart mess that we came in as. I get it, sin has perverted the hearts of us
all. We are terrified that if anyone knew the real us, the broken, hurting,
struggling, drowning us they would never let us in the door of the church
again. Guess what??? That’s all of us. We are all just too afraid to say it. Instead,
when asked how we’re doing we respond with the obviously fake “Oh, everything is
great”, “couldn’t be better” or my favorite… FINE… Fine is just code for
Frazzled, Irrational, Neurotic, and Exhausted.
When we realize
that God created us on purpose, for a purpose, and with a purpose we will stop
looking to finite things around us to find our purpose and look to him to
fulfill the story he has already written for us. (Ephesians 2:10)
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ
Jesus, unto good works, which he planned for us before the world began.
When you embrace
who God created you to be, you will find confidence and joy. We were created to
bring him glory. This totally changes the perspective and turns our eyes toward
him. When we have the proper perspective everything else just falls in to
place.
God is not
looking for a perfect woman, he is looking for a woman who wants to walk with
Jesus and find her confidence in her daily dependence on him.
Renee Swopes
Where are we seeking confidence?
Many times we
are guilty of seeking our confidence in things. While many of these things are
a necessary part of our lives we short circuit the plan of God when we allow them
to become the pursuit of our happiness.
We are holding
up the empty cup of our heart to all of these things begging them to fill and
fulfill us yet still come to the end of those things feeling empty and
unfulfilled.
We create idols
of the very things we’ve been blessed with in life because we loose sight of
the giver and his desire to bless and fill us and turn our focus to the gifts
he’s given. They were meant for our good but not for our fulfillment.
Idols we beg to fill us
Relationships
Parenting
Career
Education
Hobbies
Ministry
Church
Entertainment
Possesions
Status
Acceptance
Approval
Jeremiah
29:11-13 When God was talking to Jeremiah in this passage the Israelite's were so deep in the throws of idolatry that they couldn't see the one who gave them all they had. They were seeking and seeking to be filled but were coming up empty. They were making literal graven images of the blessings God had given them(sun, moon, stars, animals, etc...). What we don't realize is that we are doing the very same thing today. All the blessings God has given us(family, friends,talents) have become our idols and he is begging us to come back to him and seek him with our whole heart, just like he was begging the Israelites.
When Jesus is
not in the center of it all, our schedules, minds, stomachs, closets, and lives
are full yet our hearts just keep coming up empty. We hear God’s promise for
abundant life yet we can see nothing abundant in our life except busyness,
obligations, failures, and exhaustion. Sometimes we need to lower our
expectations of ourselves and lighten our overloaded list of commitments.
Stop allowing
the pain of your past to determine your future, Don’t let your broken dreams
become bitter expectations.
Your trying to
earn your value in all that you do, but you will never find the love that you
are longing for in anyone or anything but God. Until God’s love is enough,
nothing else will be.
Maybe you are at
a place in life where you just feel completely unlovable. Let me tell you that
Satan would love nothing more than for you to stay right in that place but your
advocate is greater than your adversary. Maybe you have spent the entirety of
your life seeking for love in all the wrong places and you always come up
feeling more alone, empty and unloved than you did before.
God placed the
desire for unfailing love in our hearts because he knew that it would lead us
to him. Unfailing love is mentioned 32 times in the bible and never once is it
attributed to a person, Only God!
Psalm
90:14 Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love,
so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives.
I find my confidence
in knowing that I am completely loved in this moment and God is not waiting for
me to get my act together in order to become worthy of his affection. RIGHT NOW
in this very moment you are loved, pursued, and seen by the One who sees
everything; He knows you better than anyone, even yourself, and he has NEVER
been disappointed by you!!
We were made for
a love that is not measured by our last accomplishment but marked by God’s measureless
grace.
God wants us to
find lasting security in knowing we are valued and pursued by the one who knows
us better than anyone and loves us in spite of our failures and short comings.
He is not limited by our limitations. He is going to fulfill his will and
purpose w/ or w/o you, but he is inviting you to join him in the journey.
The first step
of the journey is admitting to him that you are completely unworthy. Your sin
is a barrier between having an amazing relationship with him for eternity, but
when you ask him to cover the multitude of your sins with the precious blood of
Jesus you can begin walking the journey of confidence knowing that you are
loved unconditionally and he wants to use you to do great things.
Let God lead you
beyond believing IN him to Believing Him by relying on the power of his words
and live like they are true, no matter what your feelings are telling you.
Spend time
reading your Bible… The more you hear Gods word the more you will believe it,
rely on it, and live like it is true. The closer you get to Jesus the more
clearly you understand his purpose for your life.
Find what
triggers your doubt… when we loose focus on Christ we are easily distracted by
fear, failure, conflict, discouragement, comparison, worry, criticism, etc… When
you find yourself in the shadow of self doubt realize that you have lost focus
on Jesus and turn back to the light.
Find who you are
in Christ. Our passions are built into us by our creator because he knew that
they will conform us to his purpose for our lives.
Chosen,
Accepted, Loved, Pursued, and Invited to live a life of confidence.
It all starts in
the shadow of the cross.
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