If your not moving forward your moving backwards.

In a world that in constantly moving, I think it is safe to say that if you aren't moving forward your moving backwards. Life doesn't stand still, for anyone, so if your stuck in a funk your slowly fading backwards.
I know as a mom I can not be the only one who struggle with this. There are times where I am 3 steps ahead of everyone, the house is immaculate, the hubs and kids are fed, full, and happy, we are all emotionally and spiritually in a good place and life is great. Then there are times where I feel like I can't keep up, no matter what I do someone is not getting what they need, when they need it, the house is a wreck, I am sleep deprived and just don't have the motivation to do anything at all. I'm impatient and easily frazzled. We all know that is just a spiral into even more stuff getting piled up and a more distinct feeling of being overwhelmed by it all. After all, if your not moving ahead, your falling behind.
As mom and wife you have to be 100% all the time. You are the clock that keeps everyone ticking. You don't get sick days and your on call 24/7. It is the most blessed calling in the world, but can at times be very discouraging.
We all know what they say... in order to care for others you have to care for yourself first. This is where I often make the mistake. Everything that I need gets put on the back burner until everyone else is happy(which seems like never) and even then I am too tired to worry about me. I'm the last one to eat, I wake early with the kids, and stay up late to spend time with Kevin and never take time to take care of myself spiritually,physically, and emotionally. It usually starts with my spiritual well being taking a back burner, then I get emotionally frazzled, and finally my physical being says "I'm done" The whole family is whirling into a state of craziness by this point. I loose my consistency and patience as a mom and wife and I loose myself in trying to tread the water that daily life is trying to drowned me in.
So I decided each month to make a list(I am a list person). I do better at reaching my goals when I can see them in writing! So I decided on 4 categories Spiritual, Physical, Marriage(Relationship Building), and Parenting.  I listed 5 thing in each category that were most important to me right now. These thing may stay on my list for several month, some of them may change month to month but it a good way for me to keep them in the forefront of my mind so I can consciously work on them... So that I am consistently moving forward!
 I have a hard time, like most moms , with keeping these categories in proper order. It seems selfish to worry about yourself first, but it really is most healthy for everyone when you are operating at 100%.
 From a biblical prospective the most important of these categories is Spiritual. So I make Spiritual week 1 of each month. Then comes physical, which is week 2. Marriage/Relationship building(this is a hard ones for moms to put in front of parenting but it is vital to keep your relationship with your spouse healthy so that you can both be good parents), so this is week 3. Then parenting, week 4. If you keep this going for a few month in a row then you will have worked on each category an equal amount of time. Keep in mind that the first month is your fresh start, your life boat, your helicopter. You are being rescued from the overwhelmed mommy state and transforming into a healthy you, spiritually, physically, and emotionally, for the betterment of all those in relationships with you.
I am going to share this months list with you. Everyone is different and you may not need the same things that I need but sometimes it is hard to get started so my list might help you get a jump start.
Week 1- Spiritual
1. Read bible daily- I'll be honest and say that this still does not happen every day as it should, sometimes I have to read 2 or 3 days in my plan to get caught up. From the minute I wake to the minute my eyes close there is someone(usually between the ages of 8 and 2) that needs my attention, my help, my everything. This is however vitally important to every other thing there is in life. When I am spiritually grounded everything else will fall into it's place.
2. Cut out anything that is not moving me towards Christ- this is a tricky one because these things are not necessarily all bad things or bad people but... if your not moving forward then your falling backwards and anyone or anything that is not pushing you towards Christ needs to be cut from your time.
3. Make prayer a priority- Sure, we pray at meals, and when things get really tough, but is prayer a priority? For me, my prayer closet is the shower. When I am emotionally spent, spiritually drained, or overly worried I sneak away to the shower. I cry, I pray, and cry some more. I almost never get a shower without interruption but it is by far the place I am least interrupted throughout my day. Plus it is something that is consistent in my schedule, every day, so I know I will get my prayer time in every day if I pray in the shower. Ask my husband, I spend a ridiculous amount of time in the shower, and this is why, it is my getaway from the world and get with God place, as weird as that may be, it works for me.
4. Clean out the well- The bible says that the heart is the well spring of life. Is your well polluted? What you put in, will eventually be the overflow that comes out. What is really down deep in that well is what comes out when you are pressured, angry, and at the end of you. It's not always good. This is why all the steps above are essential. The more good you put in the less polluted your well will be.  :)
5. Surround yourself with good spiritual influences- this one pretty much speaks for itself. Spiritually healthy people need to be surrounded by other spiritually healthy people.

Week 2 Physical
1. Drink enough water- I never drink enough water. Especially not right now because there is a little pumpkin sitting on my bladder.
2. Don't eat if you aren't really hungry- the curse of the SAHM, snacking out of boredom! This is a struggle for me.
3. Be active for at least 30 minutes- It's just good for your health.
4. Get to bed at a decent time- this is the worst one for me. I get up very early with the kids but Kevin works night shift and gets home late. If I don't wait up for him I don't get to see him, and by the time we spend a few hours together at night it leaves very little time for me to sleep. I'm sure this will be one I am working on for a few months.
5. Eat breakfast- I never eat breakfast. Never have been a big breakfast person and morning is the busiest time around here. By the time I realize I haven't eaten it is almost lunch time so I usually just wait.

Week 3 Marriage/Relationship building
1. Encourage- your spouse thrives on your encouragement, whether they admit it or not. When they know they are highly valued in your eyes they will feel confident enough to do anything. I really struggle with this. I feel awkward when people compliment me and it is just as awkward for me to praise others, but it is important and I need to work on it.
2.Say I love you more- I think most married couples get so used to saying I love you that it becomes habit. Something you say as you leave, when your getting off the phone, before bed... but do you tell your spouse you love them any other time? Text him when you think of him and tell him you love him. Everyone wants to feel loved.
3. Kiss every chance you get- I don't know about you but in our relationship a kiss is powerful, but it often becomes a habit as well. Be spontaneous and sneak a kiss in every now and then.
4. Listen to his complaints and fix them- this one is hard for me, I don't like to be corrected or criticize and I usually pull away, or ignore whatever he says when this happens. Instead i should do everything I can to meet his needs, if he's voicing a compliant, whether i feel it is legitimate or not, I should do everything in my power to fix it. If he complains that he has no socks then as much as I hate mating socks I need to take time out of my day to be sure he has socks the next time he goes looking for them.
5. Be SelfLESS not SelfISH

Week 4 Parenting
1. Be the example- don't be one of those do as I say not as I do parents. Live out a life of consistency so that your kids can see your actions and follow suit. If they have an example to follow they are almost assuredly going to do as you want them to.
2. Be consistent- even when your tired, you've had enough, and you feel like you cant do anymore. Kids thrive on consistency so if you say it follow through, every time. This is crucially important for parents to be on the same page in order to be consistent together.
3.Teeth brushing- once a day we are good at, Leah usually gets twice a day because she lies to brush her teeth but the others could care less. We just need to be better at it.
4. Choose your words wisely- there is great power in the words of a parent. Are you choosing your words wisely. Sometimes it is better to say nothing and send them to their room, than to speak in anger. Calm down and then talk about the situation.
5. Encourage more than discourage- some kids require ALOT of correction, sometimes it is hard to remember that those kids need just as much affirmation as correction. This in and of itself can take up a lot of your time, especially if you have one or more strong willed children. Be sure your building up just as much as you are disciplining.

Habits become disciplines, disciplines form character, and character forms who you are. By working on each of these things 1 day per week and continuing to work on them for the next month you can form good habits that will transform who you are. Eventually you wont even have to think about them, they will be second nature and you can remove them from your list and add another thing to be working on. As parents and spouses we have never ARRIVED, we are always having to work to become better, or we are getting worse. Most of these things will definitely take God's grace to apply, but with his help they will become part of who you are.
Work to become a better you.

Week 11

So I can't say enough about how much better I have felt since the last update! Hello week 11, one more week and we are out of the 1st trimester!! I have went a full week without any sickness and maybe only 2 times of nausea. I wound up loosing a total of 6 pounds before the nausea slowed down but I am 2 pounds from being back up to my starting weight.

I went to the Dr. last week. Always fun when you switch providers and have to give you medical history.  Just my pregnancy histories are a book in themselves. We got done with all that and were ready to hear the heartbeat for the first time. You know the moment where those who have had early miscarriages breathe a sigh of relief, that sound is so wonderfully comforting.

 Well... she listened, and moved the Doppler and pushed and poked, and I could tell by the look on her face she was getting worried, after all, I had just given her a medical history of 3 early miscarriages. I had told myself about 30 seconds into her search that God was in control, no matter what, and held my breathe. When I saw her getting nervous I got a little more nervous myself but I told her that sometimes the Dr's have trouble finding heartbeat early on and have to do ultrasounds to see the heartbeat. She agreed and searched some more with that worried look on her face. I said out loud(because I was repeating it to myself over and over in my mind)  GOD IS IN CONTROL NO MATTER WHAT. She looked at me, surprised, and said let me go get the nurse, she can ALWAYS find it when I can't. So she goes and gets her. They come back in and she listens, and searches, and pokes and prods and she can't find it either. All this time I am repeating in my mind, God is in control, God is in control. Finally after what seemed like forever(I am sure it was only about a minute) they decide to do an ultrasound...and there it was(much to every ones relief), a strong little heart beat, and baby was moving around all over the place. She said "no wonder we couldn't hear the heartbeat, baby wont stay still long enough" Praise the Lord! Signs of a healthy baby, wiggling all over!!

I have an official growth ultrasound on Wednesday, and have begun the blood thinning injections. This mama is much less stressed than I was 2 weeks ago. Although I would be lying if I said I still was not a little nervous. I want to hear a strong heart beat immediately next time, and I will be a lot more relieved when I feel those consistent little movements. Each time I have felt them sooner and sooner. I think it is too soon to say for sure but I am almost positive that I felt hiccups the other day. Rhythmic little movements. That is such a distinct feeling that it is hard to miss and I am almost positive that's what it was.

 Hopefully by next week I will have some good ultrasound pics and the updates will get a little more interesting with belly pics.

On a funny note, the kids have started giving there opinions on names...
Leah- Flowerdy, Ana, or Analise(obviously she wants a girl)
Carson- Jesus
Ethan- R2D2
Abigail has not a clue what we are talking about!!

Thank you all so much for your continued prayers and support.

Family Closet

So... with all the people in our family we have so much laundry. It is an all day everyday event. Plus, with little kids, trying to let them be independent  is just a disaster. They aren't really tall enough to reach any of the clothes and when they try, they just knock everything into the closet floor. 90% of the time I wind up getting their clothes for them to avoid the mess, or I have to go back in later and clean it up. I had read several blogs on organizing and decluttering and had seen "the family closet"several times. Most people do this in their large laundry room or basement, or devote a whole room to it. Well, my laundry area, doesn't even qualify as a room. It is in a hallway behind bi fold doors. There is enough room for the appliances but nothing else(it is the one feature of our house I would change). Since we are already short on space, dedicating a whole room to it is obviously NOT an option. However, the closet in our master bedroom is rather large and already had all the shelving and hanging space installed so I thought it would work perfectly. So today I did it. I forgot to start taking picture before I started so I got my closet about half way switched over before I took a pic, but still good enough for you to get the point. I started in our closet, which was like half closet half church office supplies.

<Kevin's side
 My side after I started>
Random church supplies and Shoes

 



 



So I switched all of my stuff over with Kevin's. It made that side a little less spacious but we will live. Then I started going through the kids closets. I figured while I was at it I may as well purge a little junk. Our kids have a lot of clothes from hand-me-downs so I limited how much they had. I do this about once a month anyways, it was time. Then I started moving the small dressers and kids stuff into our closet. I am so pleased with the results, and I did a load of laundry and took the basket up to the closet. I was able to do everything, fold, sort, hang all in one place!! It was so great and saved me at least 10-15 minutes of making trip up and down the stairs!

 

                                                                                                                                              

 

^^Messy Kids Closets Before^^

 

 

 

 

                                               ^^ Finished product^^
Well, After I took the picture I added labels to the kids drawers so we would all know what was in them. Other than that that is what it looks like. Now the kids' closets can be used for toy storage or something else, and I don't constantly have a huge mess to worry about! :) It may be just a phase but for now I like it and if it makes doing laundry easier then it's a bonus!

Week 9 Update

Well, week 8 was nothing to right home about, that's for sure! I have never, ever had morning sickness this bad. Last week was the worst. A good friend let me borrow Sea Bands which helped manage the sickness enough that I could actually drink and keep something down. I lost 4 pounds because of how sick I was and I am still not sure if maybe I had a stomach bug on top of morning sickness, because it was BAD!
Week 9 has started off MUCH better! I am pretty good on the sickness front unless I let myself get too hungry. Warm liquids, such as broths and hot tea, have helped tremendously. I almost feel like a normal functioning person again.
I am still very nervous because our insurance has not all worked out for me to see the dr yet and with the blood clotting disorder I have I need to be on blood thinners from early on in pregnancy until I have baby. The risk for miscarriage(which we have endured 3 of) increases the longer you are not on the blood thinners. Please pray with us that everything will be worked out and I can get into the dr soon. I know that the Great Physician, my Savior, has his hands on this baby and his/her health so I am trying to just rely on his promises and not worry too much about the issues.
Quite honestly I have been emotionally drained over the last week because I have spent my time worrying and fretting at every little crampy pain or weird feeling I have. It is so hard early on, when you can't feel baby move and know that they are ok. I have decided today that I am not going to ask my God to take care of all the issues but then continue to worry and stress about the issues. He is in control. Good or Bad. My husband, the ever faithful one, said to me last week "Kelli, who is in control? Isn't God good in all things" Emotionally i was not ready to hear that then, I broke down and cried(and cried, and cried some more) YES, the answer is yes he is in control, and he is good in all things. It just wasn't very comforting at that moment because all I could think was "Yes he is in control, but he was in control the last 3 miscarriages we had  as well, so just because he is in control doesn't mean that things will always turn out the way I would like them to"
I have spent a lot of time since then praying and pleading with God to give me the peace that I need to let him have control and to trust that he is working all things together for my good, no matter what the outcome.
It seems like when you are in ministry and you are really working for the Lord that Satan will attack in any and EVERY way that he possibly can. Kevin has gently reminded me at points throughout the week to be prepared for Satan's attacks and to send him away wounded when he does attack, instead of allowing him to do the wounding. The truth is that each testing is an opportunity for you to Glorify God who has already defeated the enemy!!
I wont pretend that I don't get discouraged and that I haven't let Satan win a few battles this week but I am purposing to send Satan packing, and trust in the grace of God to get me through each moment. He will provide what we need, in his timing, and no matter the outcome, HE IS GOOD!!