If your not moving forward your moving backwards.

In a world that in constantly moving, I think it is safe to say that if you aren't moving forward your moving backwards. Life doesn't stand still, for anyone, so if your stuck in a funk your slowly fading backwards.
I know as a mom I can not be the only one who struggle with this. There are times where I am 3 steps ahead of everyone, the house is immaculate, the hubs and kids are fed, full, and happy, we are all emotionally and spiritually in a good place and life is great. Then there are times where I feel like I can't keep up, no matter what I do someone is not getting what they need, when they need it, the house is a wreck, I am sleep deprived and just don't have the motivation to do anything at all. I'm impatient and easily frazzled. We all know that is just a spiral into even more stuff getting piled up and a more distinct feeling of being overwhelmed by it all. After all, if your not moving ahead, your falling behind.
As mom and wife you have to be 100% all the time. You are the clock that keeps everyone ticking. You don't get sick days and your on call 24/7. It is the most blessed calling in the world, but can at times be very discouraging.
We all know what they say... in order to care for others you have to care for yourself first. This is where I often make the mistake. Everything that I need gets put on the back burner until everyone else is happy(which seems like never) and even then I am too tired to worry about me. I'm the last one to eat, I wake early with the kids, and stay up late to spend time with Kevin and never take time to take care of myself spiritually,physically, and emotionally. It usually starts with my spiritual well being taking a back burner, then I get emotionally frazzled, and finally my physical being says "I'm done" The whole family is whirling into a state of craziness by this point. I loose my consistency and patience as a mom and wife and I loose myself in trying to tread the water that daily life is trying to drowned me in.
So I decided each month to make a list(I am a list person). I do better at reaching my goals when I can see them in writing! So I decided on 4 categories Spiritual, Physical, Marriage(Relationship Building), and Parenting.  I listed 5 thing in each category that were most important to me right now. These thing may stay on my list for several month, some of them may change month to month but it a good way for me to keep them in the forefront of my mind so I can consciously work on them... So that I am consistently moving forward!
 I have a hard time, like most moms , with keeping these categories in proper order. It seems selfish to worry about yourself first, but it really is most healthy for everyone when you are operating at 100%.
 From a biblical prospective the most important of these categories is Spiritual. So I make Spiritual week 1 of each month. Then comes physical, which is week 2. Marriage/Relationship building(this is a hard ones for moms to put in front of parenting but it is vital to keep your relationship with your spouse healthy so that you can both be good parents), so this is week 3. Then parenting, week 4. If you keep this going for a few month in a row then you will have worked on each category an equal amount of time. Keep in mind that the first month is your fresh start, your life boat, your helicopter. You are being rescued from the overwhelmed mommy state and transforming into a healthy you, spiritually, physically, and emotionally, for the betterment of all those in relationships with you.
I am going to share this months list with you. Everyone is different and you may not need the same things that I need but sometimes it is hard to get started so my list might help you get a jump start.
Week 1- Spiritual
1. Read bible daily- I'll be honest and say that this still does not happen every day as it should, sometimes I have to read 2 or 3 days in my plan to get caught up. From the minute I wake to the minute my eyes close there is someone(usually between the ages of 8 and 2) that needs my attention, my help, my everything. This is however vitally important to every other thing there is in life. When I am spiritually grounded everything else will fall into it's place.
2. Cut out anything that is not moving me towards Christ- this is a tricky one because these things are not necessarily all bad things or bad people but... if your not moving forward then your falling backwards and anyone or anything that is not pushing you towards Christ needs to be cut from your time.
3. Make prayer a priority- Sure, we pray at meals, and when things get really tough, but is prayer a priority? For me, my prayer closet is the shower. When I am emotionally spent, spiritually drained, or overly worried I sneak away to the shower. I cry, I pray, and cry some more. I almost never get a shower without interruption but it is by far the place I am least interrupted throughout my day. Plus it is something that is consistent in my schedule, every day, so I know I will get my prayer time in every day if I pray in the shower. Ask my husband, I spend a ridiculous amount of time in the shower, and this is why, it is my getaway from the world and get with God place, as weird as that may be, it works for me.
4. Clean out the well- The bible says that the heart is the well spring of life. Is your well polluted? What you put in, will eventually be the overflow that comes out. What is really down deep in that well is what comes out when you are pressured, angry, and at the end of you. It's not always good. This is why all the steps above are essential. The more good you put in the less polluted your well will be.  :)
5. Surround yourself with good spiritual influences- this one pretty much speaks for itself. Spiritually healthy people need to be surrounded by other spiritually healthy people.

Week 2 Physical
1. Drink enough water- I never drink enough water. Especially not right now because there is a little pumpkin sitting on my bladder.
2. Don't eat if you aren't really hungry- the curse of the SAHM, snacking out of boredom! This is a struggle for me.
3. Be active for at least 30 minutes- It's just good for your health.
4. Get to bed at a decent time- this is the worst one for me. I get up very early with the kids but Kevin works night shift and gets home late. If I don't wait up for him I don't get to see him, and by the time we spend a few hours together at night it leaves very little time for me to sleep. I'm sure this will be one I am working on for a few months.
5. Eat breakfast- I never eat breakfast. Never have been a big breakfast person and morning is the busiest time around here. By the time I realize I haven't eaten it is almost lunch time so I usually just wait.

Week 3 Marriage/Relationship building
1. Encourage- your spouse thrives on your encouragement, whether they admit it or not. When they know they are highly valued in your eyes they will feel confident enough to do anything. I really struggle with this. I feel awkward when people compliment me and it is just as awkward for me to praise others, but it is important and I need to work on it.
2.Say I love you more- I think most married couples get so used to saying I love you that it becomes habit. Something you say as you leave, when your getting off the phone, before bed... but do you tell your spouse you love them any other time? Text him when you think of him and tell him you love him. Everyone wants to feel loved.
3. Kiss every chance you get- I don't know about you but in our relationship a kiss is powerful, but it often becomes a habit as well. Be spontaneous and sneak a kiss in every now and then.
4. Listen to his complaints and fix them- this one is hard for me, I don't like to be corrected or criticize and I usually pull away, or ignore whatever he says when this happens. Instead i should do everything I can to meet his needs, if he's voicing a compliant, whether i feel it is legitimate or not, I should do everything in my power to fix it. If he complains that he has no socks then as much as I hate mating socks I need to take time out of my day to be sure he has socks the next time he goes looking for them.
5. Be SelfLESS not SelfISH

Week 4 Parenting
1. Be the example- don't be one of those do as I say not as I do parents. Live out a life of consistency so that your kids can see your actions and follow suit. If they have an example to follow they are almost assuredly going to do as you want them to.
2. Be consistent- even when your tired, you've had enough, and you feel like you cant do anymore. Kids thrive on consistency so if you say it follow through, every time. This is crucially important for parents to be on the same page in order to be consistent together.
3.Teeth brushing- once a day we are good at, Leah usually gets twice a day because she lies to brush her teeth but the others could care less. We just need to be better at it.
4. Choose your words wisely- there is great power in the words of a parent. Are you choosing your words wisely. Sometimes it is better to say nothing and send them to their room, than to speak in anger. Calm down and then talk about the situation.
5. Encourage more than discourage- some kids require ALOT of correction, sometimes it is hard to remember that those kids need just as much affirmation as correction. This in and of itself can take up a lot of your time, especially if you have one or more strong willed children. Be sure your building up just as much as you are disciplining.

Habits become disciplines, disciplines form character, and character forms who you are. By working on each of these things 1 day per week and continuing to work on them for the next month you can form good habits that will transform who you are. Eventually you wont even have to think about them, they will be second nature and you can remove them from your list and add another thing to be working on. As parents and spouses we have never ARRIVED, we are always having to work to become better, or we are getting worse. Most of these things will definitely take God's grace to apply, but with his help they will become part of who you are.
Work to become a better you.