God loves them more

For me, the absolute most freeing thing that has ever happened in parenting happened just recently.

I am a very Type A personality. I like to know how things work, I like to be good at what I do. So, when I became a parent, I knew I was going to be good at it. I had been babysitting my whole life, read tons of books, had many great examples. HA!

I mean, don't get me wrong, I think I'm a pretty great mom(said in complete humility) but there was a lot I did not know. In fact, sometimes I want to go back about a decade and smack myself. However, I was very confident in my ability to care for and provide for my children as infants and toddlers. It's my absolute favorite stage of childhood.

So recently, when our oldest hit the big 13 I was ready to hit the panic button. There was a lot going on anyways and I thought I was going to be totally cool with it; but I found myself literally crying in prayer one day begging God for the confidence to parent my children through adolescence that I had when they were babies. Every decision seemed to be carrying so much more weight with it. It was way more life altering than what brand of diapers and what kind of craft or snack. These decisions seemed bigger. I just kept saying to myself, I don't want to mess this up.

AND THEN, IT HAPPENED...

You know that inaudible, but deafeningly clear voice of the holy spirit? Yep. It said "don't you know that I love them way more than you do? You can't mess them up and even if you do, I'm there to pick them up."

WOW!!

I mean really, we all know this, right? But have you had the moment where it becomes real yet?

In that instant I just felt so much relief from needing to do everything perfectly, because guess what?!? God's strength is made perfect in my weakness. So sometimes, maybe instead of internalizing all of the mistakes I make in parenting, I should own then. Apologize to my kids and let them see me fail, because I don't want them growing up thinking that everything in life has to be perfect or we are failures. To let them know, that there will be times in life that I have the best of intentions but I don't live up to my calling, or I make the wrong decision, and that's okay, because God is forgiving, and we all make mistakes.

I can't count the times that I have sat and cried, to God, and to Kevin... "I'm failing at everything. I'm trying to do it all for everyone and now I'm not good at any of it. I'm too tired to do it well. I'm a failure". I'm really hoping I'm not the only mom whose been there. I'm here to tell you, that your probably not failing. The only failure is in not trying!

Our kids need to know, that as much as we love them, God loves them so much more.
They need to see us make mistakes and own up to them.
They need to know that when they make mistakes they can come to us, and God with them.

This concept not only blew my mind this week, but also the minds of my 7 and 4 year old. When I told them that I loved them, but that God loved them even more than I did, they were in shock.

"That's too much love mommy. No one can love us more than you do."

I know baby, it's hard to believe, but it's true. God loves you and God loves mommy, and God loves teaching mommy how to love you more and more, everyday.

"God's a good teacher mommy."

Yes, yes he is...