Honesty from the heart of a struggling mom... 1 year later.

I was looking back over some of my old blog post from last year and this one Honesty from the heart of a struggling mom caught my eye. My how things can change in a year. I've gone from an overwhelmed, emotionally pregnant, mom of 4 to an overwhelmed, but loving every minute of it, mom of 5.

Here's what I have realized...

EVERY stage of life can be overwhelming. 

You expect to go from one overwhelming stage to another non-overwhelming stage; but life with young kids just doesn't work that way. The next stage may be less overwhelming than the previous one but there will be a day(or 2, or 100) that you feel like you are in over your head. Especially if you are the mom of a lot of young children. Your outnumbered and everyone has needs!

Trust me mama when I say you are not alone. 

I've come to realized that it isn't wrong, or weak, or embarrassing for me as a mother to be overwhelmed. I am not Superwoman. I can only push myself for so long before I can't handle any more, and many of us are guilty of pushing ourselves for far too long. We are human, we are not perfect, we need rest(emotionally and physically).

Instead, it is how we react to being overwhelmed that determines whether it is going to be to our good or to the detriment of our family. 

I can be completely overwhelmed and still be a reasonable, kind, encouraging person, but so often when we find ourselves overwhelmed we find ourselves short and snappy with our children and our husbands. It's our way of screaming...

CANT YOU SEE I'M DROWNING HERE? HELP ME, PLEASE!!!

We have become so good as wives and mothers at anticipating the needs of others that I think we expect people to read our minds and know when we have had enough. It's easy to react with self-pity, fear, and unkind spirits and that my friend is exactly what Satan wants from us. You know that he can use the biggest blessings in our life to overwhelm us and steal our joy? We become concerned with having the perfect marriage, the most well-behaved children, the most successful ministry, and the most beautiful home that we loose sight of the blessing these things are meant to be and allow them to become burdens for us to carry. 

It seems to come in seasons for me. There are seasons that everything is going well, I have enough energy to keep up with everyone and meet all their needs. The house is fairly clean. Our marriage is blissful and ministry is enjoyable. I put it on cruise control, I'm not as diligent to tend to the needs of my house, my spouse and my children and then the wave of chaos comes rolling in. I have found that it is mostly my fault when chaos ensues and I get overwhelmed(not always, but usually). Then I allow Satan to creep in and sow the seed of self pity and insecurity. You know those days when you feel like... Why can't anyone see I am struggling, or can they see but they just don't care? Am I just not good enough at what I have been called to do to do it correctly and not get so overwhelmed? If I was a good mother... If I was a good wife... It goes on and on. 

God has given us promises about all of these things, the answers to all questions, the life raft coming to our rescue. When we are properly focused on him we can keep Satan's antics at arms length and remain planted in his grace. 

Many times when I am feeling overwhelmed I feel the need to mask it with a smile(at least while around other) and just give up at home. I don't want anyone to know that I am overwhelmed and I don't want to ask for help(that's my pride) because that might just give someone a platform to say hurtful things about the size of my family, or the things we have chosen as important in our lives(ministry, christian education, etc...) and all my joy is robbed away. 

Let's choose as mom's to become better at asking for help and being honest about our limits. Our husbands and children can't read our minds and many times when they find out how overwhelmed we are(usually after a mommy meltdown) they are more than willing to shoulder some of the load. It's ok to struggle but in those moments of struggle choose to be overwhelmed and overjoyed. Don't let self pity drag you down into a mommy rut. 

Get back on schedule, be more diligent, talk to God more throughout your day about the wonderful blessings he has given you and the struggles that come along with those blessings. 

This past year has not been an easy year. Having a baby, family adjusting to the change, lots of hard work in ministry, outside family struggles, financial hardships, and even as I type we are awaiting an MRI for Micah to determine if he has the same brain malformation that Carson had and whether he will require brain surgery to correct it. I am no less overwhelmed today than I was a year ago, but I am choosing joy in those moments instead of self pity. 

I'm overwhelmed, but overjoyed!!

At some point I will make it into a less overwhelming stage of life,and recharge to face the next overwhelming stage. Yet in each stage I am overwhelmed by his grace, because his grace is made perfect in my weakness. 

Lord, sift me like wheat.

It was just recently while doing a study by Beth Moore, with my mom, that I heard a passage of scripture in a whole new light. I just love it when that happens. You know, when you've read over a passage several times in a lifetime but there's just that one time when you read it or hear it explained and the light bulb goes off. It has since become one of my favorite passages.

In the days before the crucifixion, as the Lord was preparing for his death, he spoke to Peter saying...

 

"Peter, Satan has asked for you, to sift you as wheat. I have prayed for you, that your faith will not fail. And when you have repented and turned back to me... strengthen your brothers."

 

Hmmm. This struck me in so many different ways. Maybe it was just the season of life I was in. It was appointed for me to hear Beth speaking on these things right at that time. The Ahh Ha moment had arrived.

 

In her study "Believing God" Beth Moore states...

 

"Sifting is not just God allowing Satan to have a little fun in your life. He didn't forget about you. You haven't fallen off of his radar. He is patiently waiting and praying for you as you are being sifted. He's tryin' to say to you... I want to take you places, I want to do great things in your life, but we aren't taking that(sin)"

 

WOW! I'm not at all sure why that was so powerful to me. This is not some form of Satan's revenge, this is not an oversight on God's part. This is a process. God wants to use me, but there are some things I have to get rid of first.

 

So many times when I am in a season of sifting I blame Satan. You know the old "I'm going places for God and you are tripping me up. This is a trial of patience, endurance, strength. I'm going to defeat you through this." When in all actuality God is probably sitting there beating his head against the wall because the very things he is trying to sift out of my heart, I am clinging to. He doesn't want me to get through this on my own. I am not strong enough to endure or patient enough to wait it out. The god of self and pride are prominent. God is using Satan as a tool. He enjoys beating and shaking and throwing me around, all the while the gentle breath of my Savior is blowing all those impurities away. The chaff, the pebbles, the pride, the selfishness, the spirit of discontentment. He's gently trying to remove them from my heart and I am clinging to them for dear life.

 

Talk about a change in perspective. So in the times since then that I have felt a season of sifting, instead of reaching for my pride and vain ambition and bristling up to defeat Satan, I stop and ask...

 

 "What are you trying to get rid of Lord? What needs to go? Take it, please. I want to go where you want to take me."  

 

Does this mean that I don't still get totally stressed out and self reliant that I loose sight of the big picture and try to handle things myself and become completely overwhelmed. Definitely not. Most times, actually, I find myself fighting for life under the crushing weight of Satan's beating and thrashing before I let go of the god of self and let God sift out the junk.

 

These are some things I try to remember when a season of sifting arrives. Even in the several times I have read the passage since the Ahh Ha moment I have gleaned more truth from it.

 

1. Satan had to ask for you

 

 

2. The Lord has prayed for you

WHAT?!?! When I read this I was instantly brought to tears. The LORD, God Almighty, who knows every hair on my head, my every thought, my every fear, my inadequacies, my failures... He's praying for me!! I mean, I knew God was all knowing and cares even for the sparrows. He knows every second of my life in his Omniscient power; but it NEVER(and I mean NEVER EVER) crossed my mind that he was praying for me.  Prayer is such an intimate thing, at least for me. I mean if I am praying for you, I love you, and I mean that. Prayer is a serious thing to me. There are a few people in my life who tell me frequently that they are praying for me, and I know they mean it, I can feel it in my soul. That means more to me than words could EVER express. That is intersession with "God on High" on MY behalf. I am important to the Lord, and my spiritual state of being is important enough in his eyes for him to talk to his father about it. BLEW my mind!!

 

3. And WHEN you have repented and come back to me

The word "when" literally jumped right off the page at me. That was a guarantee. He didn't say IF, he said WHEN. There is no season of sifting that can keep you from  returning to the Lord.

 

4. Strengthen your brothers

Now wait a minute Lord... I am the one who is going to be sifted. Upon my return shouldn't my brothers be the ones strengthening me??? The point of sifting is to strengthen you so that you can in turn strengthen others. Don't be discouraged by the sifting season. Learn from it. Let go of those impurities that God is trying to rid from your heart and life and return to strengthen those around you. 

 

If you feel like your at a standstill in your Christian walk, maybe there are some things that are keeping you there. Pray; Lord, sift me!!

 

 



Birth Announcement(2 months later)

Introducing... Micah Scott Pruitt 

 

I know it may seem as if I have abandoned my blog... in some ways I kinda have, but all for good reason, and it wont last forever I promise.

 

1 very good reason for my recent silence has been the birth and first few months of our newest little blessing arrival. Delivery went super smoothly, although he was the longest baby I have cooked(we nearly made it to 37 weeks), he required a small hospital stay for some breathing issues, which we totally did not expect.

 

 In hindsight I can see that the Lord probably did that to keep me from being the crazy woman I am and over exerting myself the next few days following his birth. We were having our first major outreach at our church plant and instead of attending the community pancake breakfast and Easter Egg hunt and being able to help, Micah and I spent his first 4 days in the NICU. The Lord always knows what we need and it was actually a great time to bond with Micah before being thrust back into the reality of family life with 5 kids.

 

 He is such the perfect completion to our family and everyone just loves him to pieces. Few things in life are as precious and time consuming as an infant. I am taking in every possible second of this stage because likely I will never again cuddle and love on a baby this small again. Yes, I am emotionally crazy about this, I officially have last baby syndrome. I am not getting near enough sleep because I just sit up all night and stare at him after he wakes up for a feeding and goes back to sleep. In the complete silence of the house(since that only ever happens when everyone else is sleeping) I treasure those tiny finger and toes, flittering eyelids and gassy smiles that are the life of a newborn. Then I cry because it is a quickly fading stage that I so much enjoy. If time could only stand still... and so I try to make the most of this time.

 

 

 

Along with this nostalgic, last baby syndrome I have come to the realization that all of this will soon fade away to a memory. Someday all these giggling, blond headed, bundles of energy will be grown and gone.

 

While most days I am dreaming of the days of no more snot and slime, no more fussing and fighting, no more I'm bored, I'm hungry, or He's looking at me's, but when night comes, and all is quiet, I know I've missed some of the greatest moments in their young lives whilst blogging, doing laundry, or cleaning something for the thousandth time that isn't even dirty.

 

 So I have committed a lot of my time this summer to trying to be the "Yes mom". Next fall we will have 3 kids in school. 3rd grade, 2nd grade, and Kindergarten. Doesn't even seem possible that they have grown that fast.

 

 So this summer is a summer of dirty laundry and a sink full of dishes.

 

I'm spending as much time as possible enjoying the great outdoors, all the playgrounds and splash pads that this city has to offer. We are going to have a summer to remember. Even if we never leave our yard we will have fun. I've been making a conscious effort to say yes more. For me this means asking myself each time the kids ask something "do I really have a reason to say no?" Most of the time, when it is the little things, I can't find a good reason to say no so I have been saying yes.

 

Yes to my 2 year old being covered in bandaids even if she doesn't have a legitimate scratch.

Yes to an ice pack for the tiniest bump from our outside adventures.

 Yes to playing board games, side walk chalk, bubbles, and hopscotch.

 Yes to family camping in the living room with every pillow, blanket, and stuffed animal known to man.

 Yes to catching fireflies and playing in the rain. It's been a great adventure so far!!!!

 

So for now, I'm storing those blog posts in my mind for the rainy days, the long naps, and after bedtime when all is quiet. :)

 
 

Preserving their Innocence, while having those "hard to have" discussions that keep them safe.

Disclaimer: This blog post is a personal story of sexual abuse as a child, while I will not go into details about the situation it may still be hard for some readers to read. This is an important subject that needs to be spoken of openly to help educate parents and children of the dangers of sexual abuse, especially in scenarios that are often not thought of. While none of it's contents are offensive I would not recommend it to all readers without the supervision or permission of an adult. Feel free to share this link to further educate others on this ever growing problem. 
By his grace,
Kelli



I've sat down to write this post several times this week. It's been met with a lot of emotions, scrap it all and start overs, prayer, crying, and talking to others I know who have had a similar experience. I wasn't at all sure if I should even tackle such a subject; but after much prayers and counsel from other victims of sexual abuse I decided it was something that needs to be said!

 Sexual abuse is a growing problem, everyone knows about it, but no one really knows how to talk about it. It used to be something you had to worry about with your little girls and older/adult males. However in today's society it is a discussion that needs to be had with our little boys as well as our little girls, and concerning both male and female adults. Ignoring a problem does not make it go away. So few people are willing to talk about it that it makes victims of such abuse afraid to speak up for themselves. I am a grow woman and it wasn't until about 3 years ago that I told a single soul about my experience. I finally told my husband because my fear and anxiety of sexual interaction was wrecking havoc on our marriage of 6 years. He couldn't understand why I cringed at the thought of intimacy and really I didn't understand it either. I knew I was safe with him but it wasn't until I opened up about past abuse and talked through some of the issues that healing started to take place.

Now at that time our children were very young and the thought of these horrible things happening to them had not yet crossed my mind; but as I worked through my own issues I promised myself that I would do everything in my power to educate my children and avoid these things happening to them. I didn't know or fully understand what all that would entail at the time but it was something I was committed to.

MANY parents, myself included fear these kind of discussions. They aren't exactly easy to have discussions; and there is a delicate balance involved. How do you preserve their sexual innocence while giving them enough information to keep them safe in an abusive situation? I still am not sure of the exact answer to this but I will share later on a few of my strategies. Here's what I do know...

 

Not having these conversations just because they are hard, is not protecting their innocence. In fact, it may be the very things that allows someone to steal it away from them.

Here's a glimpse into my experience, following this I will give you some very important things that I as a victim have learned through this process, and a few of my suggestions as to how to avoid these things happening to countless innocent children.

 Remember...There are evil people in this world, and sometimes no amount of suggestions or preparation can keep a horrible situation from happening. However, if it only prevents a few cases it will have been better than doing nothing at all.

Going back about 3 years...
I was a 23 year old, mother of 3(with another on the way), wife of 6 years who still cringes every time her husband touches her. I don't want to be kissed passionately. Intimacy is not enjoyable for me and I see it only as a means to reproduce. My husbands innocent taps on the bottom as he walks past me, and advances made trying to spark romance fuel a fear and anxiety in me that even I don't quite understand. Our marriage is good, but could be better and I feel he resents me because I am not as intimate and passionate as I once was. There were several things in my surroundings that were bringing up these feeling of anxiety. The suspicion that some men we knew were sexual abusers(It is like a 6th sense I have, or a revelation from The Lord. I can't explain it but my skin crawls around certain people and that feeling usually isn't wrong), the feeling that my childbearing days were over after this baby was born (oh how wrong that was) and trying to internalize how I would avoid all of my husbands sexual needs and advances without driving our already struggling marriage into the ground, and situation with our oldest child that was completely not related to sexual abuse but sparked that fear in me as a mother. All these things together caused me to have a melt down and
tell my husband that I had been abused as a child. At this point I still was not comfortable sharing all the details with him, I wanted to share the minimum amount of information while still trying to guard my emotions. When you are a victim of sexual abuse, no matter the situation, you feel as if you have done something horrible, when in fact, quite the opposite, something horrible was done to you. Since this time I am happy to say that my husband has been the most helpful person to help me wade through all these emotions. He's the only person who knows the full story, and we are still working through these issues and fear on an as needs basis.

Going back about 11 years...
I was a 15 year old girl. Had a boyfriend, that I thought I trusted, make a sexual advance on me. The advances he made were both inappropriate and unexpected, and led to a break up.This however, went much deeper than his actions. It lead to a greater realization of something very wrong that had happened to me as a child. This was the first time ever that I had been exposed to sexual things being old enough to know that it was inappropriate. I felt dirty, wrong, guilty, angry, an a whole lot of other emotions about what had happened to me as a child but I was afraid to tell ANYONE because I thought I would be in trouble for what had happened. I'm going to touch on this later but for anyone out there who is struggling as I was, a girl with a dirty secret, that I didn't want to be carrying around with me, YOU ARE THE VICTIM. Nothing you did could have brought this upon you, or stopped the situation. Some people are just evil and prey on others.

Going back what  believe to 18-20 years
I was between the ages of 6 and 8. I don't remember exactly how old I was, I can't remember my parents ever having a discussion with me about this subject and the dangers of sexual abuse. I can tell you where we lived, which church plant we were starting, and that we were at some sort of gathering at another church. We were playing hide and seek with a bunch of kids from our church. A teenage boy, well trusted by my family, dating my older cousin, asked me to hide with him. While we were "hiding" he did somethings, which I a not comfortable sharing here. At my age, having had no prior exposure to anything sexual and believing that this young man was a friend of ours and trusting he would never do anything wrong or that would hurt me I thought nothing of the incident, as I said earlier, until I was exposed to this in a sexual manner many years later! Sometimes I am very thankful that I did not realize at this age what had happened. That would have been a heavy burden to carry around at such a young age. At times I wish I had known so that he could have been punished and maybe kept him from doing these things to other people. I know his face, and his last name, I can see him as clearly as if it were yesterday, even though it's been 20 years since last seeing him. I struggle with resentment and unforgivness at times and wish he would be punished in some way for what he did to me, what he took from me, and how he has affected my life without even caring some near 20 years later.


That being said...
Here's what I have learned

Parents:
1.Even though I don't remember at that point my parents talking to me about sexual abuse and what's right and not for someone to ask or see I'm sure they did. What I have learned is ONCE IS NOT ENOUGH. Talk about it often, talk about it openly, talk about it early. I have started talking to my kids about it as soon as we potty train. I explain that that is their private area and NO ONE, not even someone who says they are a Dr. is allowed to look or touch down there unless mommy is in the room and says it is ok. I remind them of this often in daily conversation, when we visit the Dr. and at other appropriate times.
2. You do no have to give a lot of detail but just make it very clear that there is a line that if crossed needs to be addressed. Give clear and precis directions as to what they should do if ANYONE ever tries to touch or see their private area. Make sure you stress that even if it is a family member or close family friend they MUST follow through with these directions, no matter what the person says.  If the person gets forceful with them you need to tell them what to do... poke eyeballs, scream bloody murder, fight to get away, kicking, hitting, biting, scratching. This is a difficult thing because we try to teach our kids not to do these things and here we are telling them to do them.
3. Suspect and think of EVERY scenario. Everyone wants to believe the creepy neighbor is a pedophile but no one talks about or thinks about the step parent or grandparent, the family friend, the parent of your child's friend, the CHURCH MEMBER, the neighbor, the sibling, the cousin.
4. Make sure your child knows your phone number and knows how to call you or 911, no matter what, if they ever feel unsafe. Assure them that they will not ever be in trouble for telling on someone for trying to touch or see their private area.
5. Talk about it BEFORE any suspicion arises or you think there is a need. DON'T WAIT!!
6. If your child comes to you with a worry or incident, be sure you clearly talk about it, get all the details,and take it seriously. Don't approach the offender, go to the proper authorities. Do not treat this light heartedly. It is serious.

Victims:
1. Tell someone. Even if you think it wont matter now, they will never be punished for it, no one will understand; TELL SOMEONE. The healing process can not begin until you verbalize the situation. Obviously make sure it is someone you trust, your pastor, friend, parent, spouse, etc... Even if the person doesn't fully understand, just having someone to listen is a great help in the healing process.
2. YOU ARE THE VICTIM. Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise. You've done nothing wrong, you have been wronged.
3. Speak out to help others. Don't ignore that feeling.
4. Be honest with your spouse, this will affect more than you know possible. An honest, open relationship is more intimate than any other relationship. Let them know that you need their support and help to become comfortable and feel safe in their presence. Don't do things unwillingly as this will only spark more feelings of resentment towards intimacy but work to a point that you can work together to make you more comfortable being spontaneous and unpredictable. God intended for intimacy, between a man and a wife, to be a wonderfully beautiful act of love that promotes closeness and a greater love. Don't be afraid to try new things but be honest about your emotions.

Spouses:
1. Sexual abuse has a long road to recovery. Be understanding. Sometimes your partner may just need held more than anything else.
2. If you know the details of the abuse do not initiate that type of sexual activity with your partner. This can open old wounds and mess with the emotions. Making your spouse feel unsafe and vulnerable all over again. Take things slowly and at the pace your spouse is comfortable with. Do not push them to explore more sexual areas as this will cause them to resent you and intimacy in general.
3. Be encouraging and uplifting.
4. No means NO. No matter how stupid you may think that is. If you want your spouse to trust you and grow in intimacy with you make sure they know, when they say no you will stop whatever it is your doing and respect their wishes.
5. Make every intimate interaction loving and secure. Prove that she can trust you to keep her safe.


Don't let silence be an option. Do all you can to prevent sexual abuse.

El Shaddai- The ALL Sufficient One

El Shaddai... The first thing that comes to mind when I hear this name of God is the OLD Amy Grant song, popular in the 90's(maybe before then but I'm not old enough to remember that). However, while studying the name more in depth, and reading in my personal study through the book of Psalms, it has take on a whole new meaning.

Ask most people what the meaning of El Shaddai is and they will say God Almighty. This is true, it is the first definition listed; but what comes after that is what spoke to me this week.

The ALL Sufficient One.

 

 

I thought... "Well Praise The Lord" not only is his grace sufficient for me, he is ALL sufficient. Meaning that in EVERY area of my weakness, my need, my want; he is enough!!As long as I am leaning on him and borrowing from his strength, it is enough.

 

Reading through the Psalms there is this resounding theme from the writers... The Lord is my __________(you name it, he is). My Strength, My Shield, My Rock, My Fortress, My Provider, My Defender, My Shepherd, My Sustainer, My Salvation, My Healer, My Deliverer... I could spend all day naming the things that the Psalms say he is. He is ALL sufficient.

 

Everything I am NOT, He IS!!

 

This is great new. Sometimes(more often than not) as a mother and a wife I am insufficient. I am human. I fail. My sinful nature of anger, selfishness, pride, and unforgiveness show up and mess things up. However, when I am fully relying on the ALL sufficient one, things go much better. So I ask myself... "Why do I take my focus off of El Shaddai?" If I know I have his power and sufficiency at my disposal then why do I not take full advantage of it at all times. It seems to make perfect sense yet in my humanity and sinfulness I can't always see that.

 

In those times when I feel insufficient, I am so glad that he is ALL sufficient.

 

This week, search for his all sufficiency in every area of you insufficiency. Rely on him to be your El Shaddai!!

28 week update

Time is ticking away. There are days I feel like this pregnancy is flying by, then other days I am just ready for the end to come! Thankfully to this point we have had minimal complications or issues with preterm labor.

Bed rest(as much as a mommy of 4 possibly can) is seemingly working. The kids have been great with helping out around the house, doing their chores, and pitching in extra to help where they can. Kevin has been a wonderful help to me and always does what's needed without complaint. As well as family, and neighbors, who are pitching in to get the kids to and from school, dr's appt's, and other activities.

So far I have only gained 11 pounds and I am feeling pretty good.I feel like all I do is eat, and since I'm not really burning any calories while sitting I feel like I should have gained a lot more but I have always gained very little weight with boys and a lot of weight with girls! The dr. doesn't seem concerned so I will be thankful for the small gain(it will make it easier to loose)!

 Being on bed rest and sitting most of the last month I am having serious pain when I do get up to walk, going up the stairs is torture. Mostly because your muscles get weak from lack of use and also because my poor body has been put through child birth 5 times in a short span. Pray with me that my body will continue to tolerate this pain and that I will recover quickly once I am up and moving again. I worry that the bones through my pelvic area and hips are saying they are done. They literally feel like they are going to break in half every time i stand up. It can actually happen that those bones will fracture just because they have been put through s much stress and spreading and I have heard that it is very painful and hard to recover from!

I am totally ready to meet this little man. I am starting to get that "I feel totally unprepared" feeling. We thought we were done after Abigail and got rid of everything but the crib. Luckily since this is baby #5 we know what is really necessary and what is just nice to have. If we get a car seat, some preemie outfits, and a small pack of diapers I will feel like we have the essentials to come home from the hospital. We had a weekend without kids, last weekend, and Kevin pushed me all over in a wheel chair looking at baby stuff. We didn't find a car seat we liked at a reasonable price so we are continuing the search! He likes shopping for car seats and is pretty picky about them, it cracks me up. All the rest will fall into place, it always does.

The Dr. says that at about 30 weeks he plans to lift my restrictions a little bit, so I can then feel like I can do more to prepare for baby. I will still have to take it easy until 34 weeks, on average this is the week we deliver, it is the week that they will not medically intervene to stop your labor. Just thinking about being so close to 30 weeks makes me anxious. We have delivered as early as 32 weeks, that's only 4 weeks away, EEEKKK!! 33 weeks, 34 weeks, and 35 weeks. I breath a sigh of relief when we make it past 32 weeks, and we always shoot for a goal of 34 weeks(that would be March 30th). Now you see why I get anxious about having nothing done!! God has always been good, he knows when our babies are done cooking and they have all(except Carson, who would have been sick at full term) been healthy babies!

We go next week for another ultrasound just to recheck somethings they saw in earlier ultrasounds but have been assured that these things will be minor, if even still an issue at all.

We're getting close!

Raising Responsible Kids

and why it's so importnant

 

Again, with the OCD mommy confession. If there are any other OCD mommies out there you will totally get this post. Sometimes I think the Good Lord has put me through bed rest 5 times to teach me something...

 I can't do it all!!

 

Even if on a daily basis I could do it all, without being so stressed out, what happens when I am unable to do what I do??

 

As moms, and homemakers, we should take our responsibility seriously. We should do all that we can do be sure that our family feels best when at home and that home is neat, clean, well organized, and FUN!! However, many of us, or at least me, fail to understand that doing it all is not healthy for anyone involved.

 

Reasons?

 

1. It's stressful for mom, especially the larger your family grows. Even super mom, especially if she has OCD, can not do it all.

 

2. It's not a healthy reality. Did any of you get where you are in life today by having no responsibility?

 

Now, I have always held to the " A good mom can do it all " theory. Meaning if you were in the least bit frazzled, didn't finish your to do list, make an amazing craft, prepare all the meals, excavate the mountain of laundry, bath your kids every night, and do it all with a smile, while looking like a super model YOU FAIL!! Your cape is being revoked. What a laugh right?

 

Who on earth can live up to those expectations? and Why do we as young mothers buy into that lie? Well I have my opinions on that, but that's a whole other subject, on how society, reality TV, and social media is warping our expectations and perception of reality!!

 

Honestly, even if you can do all those things and keep it together, with little to no stress. It is not a healthy reality for your kids.

 

Our society has turned parenting into friendship, responsibility into entitlement, and hard work into a rarity. The American dream is the next generations nightmare, because somewhere along the line we have believed that we should make our kids all think they are winners all the time and that they will get everything in life handed to them. I am all for being your kids biggest fan but they need to know the reality of loosing too. Parents who love their kids discipline them, give them boundaries and borders! Money can't buy their happiness, good thing for us cause there is not a lot of that floating around here. We wonder why there is an entire generation of lazy, entitled, selfish brats. Why there are adults who don't want to work but expect to be spoon fed. Maybe, just maybe, it's because their parents raised them without expecting anything from them. We can't expect a child to do nothing their whole life and then MAGICALLY when they turn 18 to become a responsible adult! It's not something that is in their blood that jut kicks in at a certain age. It is a whole life time of training.

 

I totally get it. For an OCD mom who enjoys serving her family, it really does just seem easier for me to do it all, my way. However, just recently, again because of bed rest, I have realized that this is not healthy for our family. When mommy can't do it all and the house falls apart... that's a reality check!! It just isn't fair for daddy to work part time, do everything that church planting requires, and have to do mommies job too. Especially when most of it is kid's messes that they re more than capable of cleaning up.

 

For us this has meant implementing chores, as well as, a list of family responsibilities. Chores are something that they get a small payment or reward for. Family responsibilities are things that you do because every family needs to work together as responsible individuals to accomplish all that God has intended for us to do!  It has been marvelous. Mostly because I CAN NOT sit all day and look at a mess and then sit and watch my wonderful husband clean up something that I normally take care of, but it has already reduced my stress level and I am sure will only help once the baby arrives!! Who knows, maybe some of the more important things that often get missed will get done more often!

 

I've got a whole board on pintrest dedicated to this subject. I've researched age appropriate chores, but in the end I just went with my gut on what my kids where capable of. If you would like to check out my pintrest page and follow along here is the link...

http://www.pinterest.com/kellirpruitt/

 

Here's to raising responsible kids!!

 



Jehovah - Shalom

John 16:33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Colossians 3:15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

True peace. What exactly is it? There are so many different definitions... The absence of hostility, war, trouble. Quiet, tranquility. An environment of unity and agreement.

One of my favorite quotes states...

 Peace, It does not mean to be in a place that there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of these things and still be calm at heart.

 

Many would say...

 

A person who is at peace with all things, is a person who does not allow another person or event to control their emotions.

It's something we all strive for. I know few people who want to live in turmoil and strife, yet many do. The Lord says that he will give us a peace that passes all understanding. A peace so fulfilling and calming that we can't even fathom it. Yet many of us, even faithful Christians, choose not to tap into the supernatural peace that The Lord has promise us. We worry, we try to control things, we bicker and fight, all the while he's extending his perfect peace.

 

I am admittedly a control freak, OCD, whatever name you want to have for it. While this I ussure you is more than a personality flaw, it is something much bigger than the choices a person makes, it makes it difficult to be a person who is at peace. I always have a to do list in my mind. When I mark one thing off, I add another. Even when it would appear to everyone else that there is nothing more to be done, I can find something to be straightened or organized.

 

While this quality can be a wonderful asset to family life and even in ministry, it can also be a hindrance.

 

I know I have mentioned it before in older blog post but let me just say it again... I struggle to "Be still".

 

I am not just speaking of a physical state of sitting still, that can be done when needed. I am speaking of my mind and heart. The Lord tells us many time in scripture to BE STILL. I am positive he was not speaking of our physical state. A scholar who knows Greek or Hebrew may be able to tell you that the literal translation can prove that he was speaking more of the state of our heart and mind(but a scholar I am not).

 

Sure many of us will acknowledge and even ask for that peace that passes all understanding in time of trouble. When we experience a trial, the death of a loved one, some unexpected news from the Dr. However, God's hasn't just promised us peace in times of trouble. He has promised life MORE ABUNDANT, and part of that abundant life is a DAILY state of peace. Why are we only tapping into these Holy resources when we need them most. Perhaps we wouldn't find ourselves in such turmoil if we were seeking God daily and taking our daily dose of peace that passes all understanding.

 

We long for peaceful homes, harmonious living, less turmoil. Our lives, as a result, would be amazing. The world would be SUCH a better place if we were all focused solely on him.

 

Oh how I pray, each and every day, that we would WAKE UP and tap into the power source. Where is the boldness of the apostles? Where is the power of the early church? Why are we sitting back in our Christian corner silently crying as our nation continues to turn her back on God.

 

We can't count on someone else to start a revival, it has to start in US!!

 

I'm not saying to be the loud mouth, condemning christian type who is helping drive the nation further from God. I'm saying tap into the power source, who has made available all of his wonderful attributes and be Jesus to the world!!

 

Start by taking your daily dose of peace. This week, strive to be a person of peace, in your home, in  your community, in your church. Also, strive to be peaceful in your heart. Be still and allow God to fill you with peace. The peace that allows you to be gracious to your spouse when they are stressed and unload the frustrations of their day on you. The peace that allows you to use discipline as a way to reveal Jesus, and the need for a Saviour, to the strong willed child who knows exactly how to push your buttons. The peace that gives you the boldness to share your faith with the person the God puts in your path, knowing that no matter what the world may throw at you, God has you in his hand! Take a deep breath, and say a prayer, asking Jehovah Shalom, The Lord our peace, to fill you with the peace that passes all understanding!

 

Take heart!!! He has overcome the world!!



What's in a name? I AM

So this week I have had a very hard time picking a Name of God. I kept coming back to I AM.  One of his attributes has stuck out to me in every aspect of daily life and I thought... The I AM totally encompasses every attribute of God. Whatever you need me to be, I AM!!

It has been a week of feeling weak, tired, hopeless, and not productive.  I am pretty prideful(I am working on that) and I hate to ask for help. This is probably why the Lord has put me on bed rest 5 times, so that I would have to ask for help! It makes me feel useless and uncomfortable. I don't like other people doing a job that I am supposed to be doing and seeing my house a mess, it's humbling.

In all of this a we have been reading through the Psalms there is a resounding theme. The Lord is my Strength. I am not exactly sure how many times it is said in the Psalms but it is A LOT and we aren't even half way in.

What an encouragement?! The Lord is my strength, when I am weak he is strong. His strength is made perfect in my weakness. In fact he is more glorified in his strength when I admit my weakness and rely fully on him!

In a world that tells us weakness is a bad thing, there is something wrong with you if you are vulnerable and need to ask anything of anyone. The Lord is sending us quiet the opposite message.

He's saying "Be weak, let me be your strength and shield. I want to be your stronghold!"

So this week I am saying it... I am weak and I need The Lord to be my Strength! Each and every time I feel insufficient and hopeless I will acknowledge it fr what it truly is. The truth. I am nothing without him, and I need his grace and strength to get me through each day.

Learning to rely on The Great I AM for everything I need!

Mommy Guilt

The dreaded mommy guilt. It rears it's ugly head in so many different scenarios but this particular strain has got me down.

I am now on strict bed rest, sitting, feet up, not supposed to be on my feet unless going to the bathroom, even sitting in the shower, no lifting, no bending... you get the picture.

 Any of you who have been there know exactly what I am talking about. It is fun for about a day, then it goes old real fast. NEVER thought I would say this but, you can only pintrest so much before it's boring. LOL!! Let me also just say that with 4 kids and a hard working husband this is nearly impossible, or at last it seems that way in my mind.

 I am thankful for my husband who already has a full plate but is willing to help as soon as he walks in the door. All the messes from the day that I normally clean up in the 30 minutes before he gets home are left laying, lunch dishes are still in the sink, the laundry needs switched over... you get the idea. All these things, I am sure, frustrate him after a long day at work; I try to keep it all clean and picked up right before he gets home so that instead of feeling tense when he gets home he'll feel relieved and comforted. That is our job as homemakers right? To make home an oasis for our man. Well his oasis has turned into a mirage! It draws him in and then disappears. Yet he doesn't complain, he just comes straight in and gets to work.

GUILT ALERT #1

I hate not being able to keep things neat and orderly for him, and I hate that he has to do my job too.


Then there are the kids, who have been a wonderful help, doing the little jobs they can and teaching me that I need to give them more responsibility(but that's a whole other blog topic I am working on). The older 2 are at school during the day so it isn't near as hard on them, but the younger 2 are starting to feel the affects. Mommy, who is normally at their beck and call, playing in the floor with them, fixing the computer so he can play PBS kids, getting snacks and drinks, etc... is now not able to do all those things(or a least not as often, because really who could get through life without those things?) Our 5 year old is getting grumpy when I tel him he'll have to wait until he next time I have to get up to go potty since mommy cant get up and down as much. Our 2 year old is just plain confused and emotional. They haven't  seen anything outside these 4 walls in over a week and they are just as sick of it as I am.

GUILT ALERT #2

This is the one I find hard to handle. My wonderful hubby can understand that this is only temporary and is in the best interest of little Micah's health. Our kids, especially the younger ones, find this harder to understand. I struggle with what to tell them. I want to tell them that mommy has to take it easy because baby Micah needs to be healthy when he's born and we want that to be as long as it can be, but then I fear breading a resentment that they may have for him before he's even born. They pray for him to be healthy and stay in mommies belly as long as possible and  don't think there is any hard feelings toward me or the baby yet but a mommy's heart worries about these things. It's probably something that can't really be comprehended by our 2 year old, and isn't as hard on the older kids because they are interacting in other ways but it is our 5 year old I worry about.

I fell guilty for being pregnant again, knowing that this is a common theme for us. Then I feel guilty for felling guilty about being pregnant because every child is a blessing from the Lord and we already  love little Micah more than he can ever imagine. Every once in a while I just say forget it and get up to spend some time with the kids and then I feel guilty when I start having contractions! I'm juggling all these emotions, in an already highly emotional state! AGHHH!!!

All I can do is pray and ask the Lord to give me peace and to let that peace overflow into the heart of our children and then go to the shower(my mommy timeout) and cry it out when I feel overwhelmed.

My husband said to me last night... I really wish you were enjoying this pregnancy(because normally I love pregnancy). As much as I want to enjoy it, especially because I am praying it is my last, this guilt has gotten to me. Even after much prayer and giving it to the Lord. I know all the right answers... Give it to God. Don't let Satan have this kind of power over you. Just don't think about it. All well meaning and said by those who care but a whole lot easier said than done!

I am extremely thankful to my hubby, kids, and my parents for all the help and support they provide; and for the hundreds of ministry partners and churches that I know pray for us. I am trying to let go of the guilt and enjoy but every once in a while it just helps to get it off your chest!

Mommy guilt may look totally different for you, but I just want you to know that you are not alone. When mommy guilt rears it's ugly face, pray a little harder to be covered in his GRACE!

Kelli

Jehovah- Raah, The Lord, My shepherd.

What's in a name??

Jehovah Raah- The Lord my Shepherd

 

So this week in our church's reading plan we came across John 10. Jesus was teaching on The Good Shepard. This is always one of my favorite views of who God is.

 

There are so many thing about shepherds that are not relevant in our culture today but if you do a little digging you will see that a shepherd was absolutely 100% committed to the safety and well being of his sheep.

 "A Shepherd's look at Psalm 23" is a book that will drastically change your perspective on shepard's and sheep.

 

There are many things that can be pointed out about a shepherd and his care for his sheep. I wont take the time to list them all because I could talk about it for a long time but I encourage you to study this out on your own.

 

I will, however, take the time to share with you one of my favorite perspectives of a Shepherd and his sheep. This view on a shepard revolutionized the way I saw many thing in life. It is a wonderful picture of God's perfect love for his children.

 

If a sheep wanders from the fold the shepherd will always go looking for it. This in and of itself is a wonderful display of a shepherds love and commitment to his sheep.

 However what they don't tell you in Sunday School is that when he finds it, he will take his staff and break the sheep's leg! 

There are so many things that I gather from this very act.

 

1. There are always consequences for wandering

 

2. The Lord in his goodness will always come looking for us.

 

3. Sometimes being taught a lesson is painful

 

 

 If the story stopped here then it would indeed seem like the shepherd was cruel and was not looking out for the best interest of the sheep. After all, a sheep who can not walk seems like easy picking for the wolves right? The story doesn't end there. The shepherd in his love for the sheep has to do something to get it's attention or it will just continue to wander farther and further and wind up being devoured by the wolves. Yet the shepherd doesn't say "you are a worthless animal, you do not stay where you are told, you wander constantly, you deserve to be eaten by the wolves"and then leave the sheep there to be eaten. Yes, he breaks the sheep's leg so it can not wander but then he binds the leg and carries the sheep on his shoulders until the leg has healed; to protect him from harm and to teach him to stay near the shepherd.

 

So many times in life, when something bad happens we are quick to blame Satan, or wonder why God is not near. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe the trial you are facing is in fact the Lord breaking you so that he can teach you to cling to him and stay close to his voice?

 

In today's society, a parent who disciplines a child is cruel and breaking the child's spirit. Yet the bible says "the father that loves his child will discipline him" I think this view of the shepherd is a perfect example of how sometimes, although discipline hurts, it is for our best interest in the end. I have often used this example when talking to my children about punishment. I am sure that their young minds may not comprehend this beautiful picture of Christ's love for us in it's entirety but I pray that someday, when the light switch turns on, they will see the beauty and love of boundaries and discipline!

 

Each time I am faced with a trial in life I am not so quick to blame Satan, but instead to take an inward look at my position with The Good Shepherd. Have I wandered from the fold? Is he trying to remind me to stay close to him? Is he mending the wounds from my decisions and carrying me on his shoulders to keep me safe and teach me that my protection, comfort, and safety can only be found in him? This puts a whole new spin on trials.

 

This week, really try to concentrate on your relationship with God as The Good Shepherd. Are you close enough to hear his voice or have you wandered from the fold? Are you enjoying the protection and provisions that The Good Shepard provides or are you cornered by wolves because you've went your own way? Are you finding strength in the fold that surrounds you or are you being broken by the Shepherd so that you can learn to appreciate his care for you?

 

Just another view of God's Grace for us.

 

 

Abba- Father, Week 3

What's in a name?

 

Wow. this was one roller coaster ride of a week. We got a lot of snow and some pretty frigid temps(one day it felt like -40F). The kids were already sick of being in the house and then the weather delayed their return to school for a whole week. The little ones were ready to have their little bit of mommy time back again, and we were all ready to get out of the house and get back into our normal routine. 

 

As I was praying and considering which name to choose for this week I was definitely having a mommy moment. I call this "mommy needs a time out". If I'm being honest I would say that on average, weekly,  I get out of the house less than 5 hours,especially when it is just too cold to bundle everyone up and get out, and those hours include the time I spend at the church doing ministry and going to the grocery store.

 

 About every 6 months I have one of these moments where I just get extremely overwhelmed and I need to get away from everyone and everything even if it just means to sit in silence somewhere, ANYWHERE, for a few hours. Usually this happens around a time of extreme schedule change, when everyone has been sick, and I am not sleeping at all! That in a nutshell has been our last 3 weeks!!

 

I have also been wrestling spiritually and emotionally with some other things. I've found that when you make a commitment to yourself and to the Lord that Satan will attack you in that very area to discourage you and convince you that you can not do what you are striving to do. He knows when your weak and he often takes advantage of that as well.

 

I was feeling very inadequate as a mother, which is kinda my full time job and ministry so that's a big deal.

 

As I was praying, asking the Lord to crush Satan, and thanking him for giving my the strength I need to defeat him; he gently whispered to me...

 

"I am your father, Abba. I love you. You are a great mother, despite what Satan and other may say. Keep searching my word for answers and I promise you will find the strength you need"

 

 

Wow. What comfort that brought to me in my moment of insecurity. You know, no matter how inadequate I feel sometimes to be the mother that all of my children, as individuals, need for me to be. When I am searching out God every minute of every day and it still seems like for some of them it just is not getting through. Satan says "Your a failure. Just give up. It's not worth all the stress it is causing you." but The Lord says "My strength is made perfect in your weakness. Keep the course. Keep being consistent. Train them in my ways" 

 

 

The great news is that no matter how many times I have failed my heavenly father, he has never given up on me. He is the ultimate example of being a perfect parent. His unconditional love is not even something that my human mind can comprehend and he has way more children than I ever will, each with their own individual wants, needs, and learning styles. If that doesn't give you hope as a mother I don't know what will.

 

 

So, as we are wading through the play grounds and war zones of motherhood this week, may we all find comfort in our Heavenly Father, Abba, The one who loves and cares for us unconditionally!!

El Roi- The God who sees me

Week 2 of 52

El Roi- The God who sees me

 

 

 

Week 1 we looked at the name Jehovah Jireh, The Lord will provide. For those of you who follow my facebook page you may have already seen some instances how this was true in our life last week. The very next day, we received an unexpected check in the mailbox that was just enough to pay some bills. We are short on income this month because my husband works at a college and they are shut down, without pay, for the whole month. Then, Wednesday, Kevin went to the grocery store to pick up a few items and found a large roast(big enough to feed our large family 2 times with plenty of left overs) normally costing $25.00 on sale for $7.00!! Thank you Jehovah Jireh!!

 

 

This week I wanted to look at El Roi, The God who sees me. Although I have known this as truth from a very young age, it has become increasingly important to me through the years. When I was younger, this meant to me that God was watching me. Be it good or bad, he knew my EVERY thought and action. As I have grown it's meaning has brought great comfort and joy in times when I have felt alone or unimportant.

 

Sometimes we as parents may be guilty of using this as a threat(of sorts) toward our children. While this may not necessarily be a bad thing, I think we must be cautious when using a quality of God as a fear tactic against our children. I, myself, have often told my children this in numerous discussions about obedience...

 "You should obey the rules and do what is right, even when you think no one is watching; because God is always watching. He sees everything you do and hears everything you say. He even knows what your thinking when you don't say it out loud."

 

While this is true, I think that we should first impart in them the awe of the attribute, the goodness that God intends it to be, before we use it to impart the fear of a great big God watching their every move. When they properly understand God for all the great things he is, their heart will long to do good in his sight, without us having to scare them into it.

 

Impart in them the truth of Scripture; that God has known them from the beginning of time, he knows every good thing he wants for them, every decision they will make, and how it will affect their future. One of my favorite Bible passages, as an example of El Roi, The God who sees me is

 

Jeremiah 29:11-13

11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.

 

 

This passage is one reason that I am doing this study. I have often concentrated on the first verse as a source of encouragement, but just a few months ago the last verse really caught my attention. I thought "Wow, what does it mean to be seeking god with my whole heart? Am I doing that?"

 

 How wonderful the promise that we will find him if we search for him with our whole heart!!

 

 

Another of my favorite passages to reiterate El Roi is Psalm 139. The Psalms are so packed full of promises about who God is... Our shield, strength, salvation, rock, fortress, refuge, deliverer, I could go on and on, but we would be here for a while!! 

 

The subheading in my bible for this passage says "God's perfect knowledge of Man"

 

 

Psalm 139

O Lord, You have searched me and known me.
2 You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
3 You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
4 For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
5 You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.

7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall[a] on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.

13 For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;[b]
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.

17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
18 If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.

19 Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God!
Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men.
20 For they speak against You wickedly;
Your enemies take Your name in vain.[c]
21 Do I not hate them, O Lord, who hate You?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
22 I hate them with perfect hatred;
I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
24 And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.

 

 

 

Wow! How wonderful is it to know that we have a God who cares so much about us, me and you, personally that he cares to know the very innermost thoughts we have. He knew me even before I was conceived. He hand picked my parents, my husband, and my children all for me before I was even made. How precious are his thoughts towards me.

 

In all that he has created, his still cares enough to know me, by name. 

 

I cannot even begin to fathom this. I have a hard time calling my children by their name some days and I only have a handful.

 

He knows you better than anyone else. He is here to comfort you when no one else will be.

 He is ever faithful to you and committed to knowing EVERYTHING about you.

 

When you are afraid, he is your comfort.

When you are tired, he will give you rest.

When you feel alone, he's right beside you

When you cry, he cries.

When you rejoice, he rejoices with you.

When you are in pain, he feels it too.

 

It really is the ultimate relationship that anyone can ask for. He is the only one capable of loving me unconditionally. No matter what I do, or think, he will love me. No matter how I hurt him or turn from him, he will love me. No matter how much I disobey, or how long I run from what he has called me to do, he will love me.

 

He is El Roi, The God who sees me. At my worst, at my best. He sees my every need, my every want, and hears my every prayer.

 No one know me more than he does and I want to know his just as intimately as he knows me.

 

This week, no matter what you face, strive to seek God as El Roi. Know that he sees all and he cares for you. Thank him for loving you enough to care about EVERYTHING that goes on in your life. Turn to him, instead of worry and fear, when things aren't going exactly as you might want and ask him what he is trying to do for you.

 

 Work to impart this truth into the lives of your children this week.  

 

 

 

Jehovah Jireh, The Lord will provide.

In my resolution to improve my relationship with the Lord this year I thought it would be really cool to look at all his different names. I know about a handful of them and their meanings but have never really concentrated on them. I am hoping to look at a different name of God each week this year, in an effort to really know God for who he is!

One of my all time favorite names for the God...

Jehovah Jireh- The Lord will provide

Passages that come to mind when thinking of Jehovah Jireh would be...

1. The Children of Israel, who were wandering in the dessert, grumbling about not having any food, and God(Jehovah Jireh) sent them Manna; literally food falling from Heaven. It can't get too much more obvious than that.

2. When Abraham is just about to offer his son, who was promised to be the father of many nations; yet was not of age to even have one child, as a sacrifice because God had asked him to. In the bravest act of obedience, a ram appears, caught in a thicket and is a replacement sacrifice for Isaac. If that isn't an amazing picture of the wonderful saving grace of Jesus I don't know what is. I wonder who provided that lamb?

3. Obviously The Lord who provides the ultimate need of all mankind, The Lamb, The Atonement, The Savior of the world. Wow.

 As well as countless times in the new and Old Testament that God supplies the needs of his people.

Sometimes I forget that The Lord, My provider, cares to provide even for the littlest of my needs, even my wants.

We all have needs, some greater than others, and my heart breaks when I see those around me whose needs are great but they are looking for provisions in all the wrong places. I really am not sure how we would make it through life if we did not have Jehovah Jireh as our source of provision.

Most months after our Tithe and rent are paid there is little to nothing left for groceries or utility bills and we have 6(soon to be 7) mouths to feed and bathe. Sometimes I think the Lord is crazy for adding another one to our family! However, Jehovah Jireh, always provides for our needs. Even when we don't know where it will come from or how it will happen, it always shows up.Month after month, all the bills get paid and all the mouths get fed. To think that I still stress over it, I should know by now that he is faithful, when we are faithful, and he will always provide. Even when we act like the children of Israel and grumble because the Manna from heaven isn't good enough, he provides quail. I literally used to think my husband was crazy when he would pray specifically for something he wanted. I would actually get angry sometimes, thinking "where do you think that is possibly going to come from when I am worried about putting food on the table this week". Yet it NEVER fails, the very thing he asked God for will show up in the mail from a random place, a check for the exact amount I needed for my grocery budget and the exact cost of what he wanted will appear in the mailbox. It used to anger me and he would say, if you had faith you'd do the same. I spend a lot of time praying for our needs to be provided, the last thing on my mind is something I want. Maybe it is a lack of faith on my part? I don't know. I can tell you countless times I have prayed "Lord it will take a miracle to pull this off. You know this unexpected expense has come up, the car broke down, the kids got sick, etc.." and he'll send the very miracle I doubted.

I find myself wondering what life would be like without Jehovah Jireh. I don't even want to think about it. All the hurt, anguish, and poverty in the world has come as a direct result of sin, and turning from Jehovah God. Some people would disagree with this, saying that there are thousands of impoverished nations who can't be helped, but I guarantee if you trace it far enough back in history it is as a direct result of that nation turning it's back on God, and sadly friends, I'm not sure America is far behind. Those nations can be helped, the answer is, and always has been, from the beginning of time Jehovah Jireh! That's the very reason we are commanded to go and tell the nations. It is not too late. If we would do what we are commanded the gospel could be spread to all nations, every tribe and every tongue. God would not give us an impossible task, but he also will not sit back and watch our disobedience forever. We have got to tell the world that there is a Provider and he wants to provide their every need.

This week as you go through your daily life, thank God each time he reveals himself as Jehovah Jireh, The Lord who provides. Thank him for electricity, clean running water, a roof over your head and pray, desperately pray, for those who aren't looking to him to provide these things.

However, don't just sit back and be thankful for him as your provider, go tell someone about how he can provide for their needs. Be Jehovah Jireh to someone who is in desperate need of a provider, and make it known that HE is the ultimate provider and he wants to provide for them. This week, show someone the same GRACE that he has given you, in an effort to know God for who he truly is Jehovah Jireh!



30 day mom challenge

I saw this 30 day Mom challenge on Facebook and I thought it would be a great way to help with one of my resolutions this year. Be a better parent.

The first 30 days I am going to do it for all the children at the same time(meaning I may have to combine a few of the things into one thing they all share in common) but I thought after that I could continue and concentrate on one child per month. Before I know it I am sure many of these great parenting practices will become a habit(or at least I hope so). Wanna join me?

 

Here we go

 

 

By His grace,

 

Kelli